Sexting 101 – tips to make your sexy times sexier

Us, brown kids do not have the privilege of quarantining with our s/o. Sexting to the rescue! And especially with all the social distancing that needs to be practiced, it is best that we fulfill our needs through the phone. We bring you a list of tips to help you sext better. Beginners, take notes. Experts, brush up.

1. Consent

   Yes, we woke. The first and most important step will ensure both of you will enjoy the process. The hottest step of them all! Consent is just as important in sexting as in any physical situation. And again, not just in the beginning – in between when your partner and you are chartering new territories, a ‘yes’ is needed then too. If you feel your partner is uncomfortable – ASK. If you are not feeling yourself – SAY. Communication is key; it is obvious but we need our reassurances.
     

2. Set your physical environment too

   Granted nobody is coming over to anybody’s, but to take in the feels, get yourself in it. If you intend to thoroughly enjoy sexting, it is highly endorsed that you take draw yourself a nice, long, relaxing shower, sprint your favorite perfume and put on a few sexy clothes. And listen to Mumma and clean your damn room! Oops, sorry to bring in the M-word when discussing the S-word. What we are trying to say is that your physical environment (scented candles are a good idea, by the way) is your Garden of Eden.
   
   

3. Take Care of your Tech

   Make sure that battery is charged! And if you need earphones/headphones (for a lil’ music) make sure that is present too. There is nothing more frustrating when your partner is undressing you through text and your phone dies. Leaving both of you high and dry!
   
   

4. Feel Free to use Help

   There are many sources to look for inspiration online and otherwise. Video porn, audio porn and erotica are a few options. You can employ this on your own or discuss with your partner. An idea is to read erotica to each other or watch the same videos together, while adding your spin to what is going on the screen.
   
   

5. Foreplay – do not skip it!

   Since physical proximity is missing, it is vital that a sort of tension is built. And besides, it sets the mood too. A little flirting, a lot of teasing is all in good faith. Slow is what we bank on! Start with an old memory or tell them what you will do to them when you meet them next time! Here is a thread on Reddit for some inspiro!
   
   

6. Emojis? – upto you!

   This really depends on the dynamics and equation of your relationship. And even the mood. Feeling naughty and filthy? Get those eggplant and peach emojis out! Want a vanilla time? Stick to honey-laden words. P.S. Other emojis include the water splash and cherries. *wink wink*
   
   

7. Be Open to Experimenting but Do Not Stray too Far if Uncomfortable

    Sexting is a great place and way to understand and take your sexual life forward. So if you wanna try something new, go for it! It could be a little role-playing or a new kink. Remember having fun is the only precedent. Regardless, make sure you don’t do something you are not into explicitly. Learn to say ‘No’ even on text. And this applies to you on the other side too – if you feel your partner is not being themselves, reassure them it is okay to be uncomfortable and that you both can NOT do it. 
   
   
   

8. Describe EVERYTHING

   The most critical cue of sexting lies in the smallest details. To compensate the distance, you have to be out-there with your words. Don’t afraid to be cheesy. Be smooth as butter on warm bread. Use beautiful, lovely words to describe each other’s deepest depths and tiniest freckles. It is hard (pun intended) to type when your hands will be busy. It’s a hurdle when have to grind (okay, we will stop with the puns). Coziness guaranteed! 
   
   

9. Be Vocal & Listen too

   Please don’t let your partner do all the work of typing. Be involved. Describe what you want to do and what you want to be done to you. Because you don’t want to seem uninterested. It is okay if you are not so much with words – you get points for trying! Then again, make sure to listen too. Don’t overload (not a pun, we swear!) to overwhelm your partner. “How are you going to respond if I ever to do this?!” Make sure they’re having a gala time as well. Nudge them if they’re being silent. Ask, communicate. 
   
   
   

10. Visuals

    Photographs go a long way in sexting. Especially teasing pictures. Helps with the imagination. BUT! Make sure your partner is trust-worthy and you’re in the zone too. It is risky business. On the other hand, make sure the other person is on the same page regarding it too. Take a ‘no’ as a no. We are not going to endorse you sending nudes out especially if you’re under 18 (you can be arrested for child pornography even if it’s your own pictures.) 

Lastly, there are just 2 things – COMMUNICATE BOUNDARIES, HAVE FUN. Make sure your partner is someone who comprehends this and you are someone who follows this as well. Okay, now off you go to get some! 😉

ALSO READ: 7 ways to appreciate a long term relationship