Middle-class Things We All Do Daily!
Okay, if you’re a middle-class Indian, repeat after me! “We, the people of the middle class, solemnly pledge that doing ‘kit kit’ is our mantra and ‘jugaad’ is our savior”. Now that that’s out of the way, get ready to be called out on every single one of these middle-class things that you do daily!
1. Freebies
After eating a plate of Pani puri from the roadside stall, do you believe it is your birthright to get a free ‘sukha puri‘, or are you normal?
The mom version of this is bullying the sabzi wale bhaiya into giving you free dhaniya-mirchi because you bought so many vegetables.
2. Use it till the last drop
Middle-class Indians will never, and I mean NEVER, let anything go to waste. You may think that we’re woke but we’re just broke. No toothpaste tube is every getting thrown out before getting mercilessly murdered. And the shampoo is not over until you’ve watered it down at least 8 times.
3. The life cycle of middle-class clothes
In a middle-class household, every piece of clothing has a life-cycle. It starts as a ‘bahar ka kapda‘ where wearing it is strictly restricted to special occasions. Once you’ve worn it in all your different groups, it gets demoted to an ‘everyday wear’ title and when the threads finally start wearing off, it becomes the household ‘pocha‘ or dusting cloth.
4. Carrying food everywhere
How can you go on a trip and BUY lunch? That’s too wild a concept to fathom. Us middle classers (yes, I just made that up) carry our 7-course meal with us in our stackable steel tiffins. But come on, no pizza is ever coming close to those ‘Makhan wale aloo parathe‘ am I right?
5. Never throwing out… anything
A middle-class household is like a big black hole. Anything that comes in, stays in. Be it plastic bags, paper bags, take away dabbas, or gift wrapping paper. Why? Because ‘baad mei kaam aayega‘!
6. Never buying bags from brands
It’s extreme madness to spend Rs.15 on a shopping bag for a dress worth Rs.2000. Or at least that’s the mantra every middle-class kid is born reciting. Hoarding all those bags eventually does come to use!
7. Not peeling off the plastic from new things
Whoever believes that there are seven sins doesn’t know the repercussions of peeling the plastic off of a new appliance in a middle-class house.
8. Crocin is the cure to all your problems
What do you mean a crocin won’t solve all your problems? Has my whole life been a lie?
9. Having deceptive boxes
You don’t know sadness unless you have opened an unsolicited butter cookies tin box…only to find everything but cookies in it.
10. Getting food packed at a restaurant
Packing leftovers after eating at a restaurant are a given. So what if the leftovers are half a roti and two spoons gravy, at least you get the takeaway boxes!
11. Intuitions
Does anyone else’s parents have this secret code language where your mom will understand that if your dad cuts the call, it means he’s near?
12. Mehman Bhagwan hai
No Diwali cleaning comes close to the makeover a middle-class household gets when guests are coming. Oh and don’t even talk about what it’s like if the guests are coming from abroad! New sheets, new crockery, new kids, the list goes on.
13. Theatre degree
If you think you’re good at acting, watch the performance of a middle-class child taking money from his relative. You have to put up a whole show before accepting the money or you get ‘the look’ from your parents.
14. Storing the pizza seasonings for later
What’s the point of ordering pizza if you don’t loot the store of all their oregano and chili flakes?
15. Having a small box with coins
It’s a rule that every middle-class household will have a small box with coins in it. And every time you get out of the house you’re told to carry change so that you don’t have to give the ‘auto wale uncle‘ more than the meter fare.
We’re unapologetically middle class and we love it. Tell us what your middle-class stories are!
