Why Indians need to stop seeking their Parents’ Approval

Approvals. Opinions. And Parents. 

Indian Parents demand a lot from their child, whether it’d be a baby calling their name or be a teenager to always agree with them. It is very convenient to think that every time Indian Parents are right. But the child is actually suffering from being unopinionated. 

Disrespect

Indian Parents have this theory “Disagree” means “Disrespect“, but is it right? It is extremely disturbing for the child to agree to Parents to the fullest. Indian parents are somewhere right that the child has not yet entered the grounds of the world but this doesn’t mean that child can’t be right. And eventually, the child will enter the world, and he’ll have to face the consequences. But the parents decide what the child should do and if the child denies it, then it’s the parent’s disrespect. If the child is trying to put out his/ her point of view, parents feel that the child is disrespecting them by not agreeing to what the parents think. And if the child accepts their Parent’s POV, then the child is admiring them and doing the right thing. Though it is not always about that. 

Parent’s Decision- Right thing

“Indian parents are always right”. Orthodox yet very much believed in India. Indian parents say that they’re always accurate because they’re older than the children and have witnessed the world. So to teach them precisely, they tell them exactly what to do instead of letting the children recognise what is “the world“. Children need to know what decision to take on their own and they will learn this with the help of their parents. Whether it is the right conclusion or not, the child will learn how to deal with obstacles if He/ She is allowed to comprehend what they think. 

Parents don’t actualise that they’re suppressing their child’s thinking and imagination when they apply their settlements to them. 

Conventional Reasoning

Probably every Indian parent would first go on their religion and beliefs before taking any big decision. They’d compare their child’s wishes to their rituals and act accordingly. It is so common in India but still, no one takes it seriously. Parents find superstitious beliefs to suspend their child’s desires. From getting them a personal phone to making an opposite-gender friend, Parents say “We don’t consider doing this” or “Our religion refuses this”. Parents have turned everything into their spirituality and this can’t satisfy children. 

There are also stereotypical parents, who don’t allow their children several things so that they stay ‘perfect’. For girls, wearing modern clothes is sometimes not permitted. For boys nowadays, are crushed from emotional thinking and revealing what they think because they are boys. This shows a parent’s belief when they’re denying something just to keep up their respect. 

Emotional Support

Children nowadays suffer a lot. The competition has been increased so much that they undergo so many circumstances wherein they need support. And the particular support children want is their parents. In every aspect of their life, children expect their parents to be on their side. Most importantly, when the children are suffering emotionally. Children try to believe in themselves when they have to choose something, however, parents terribly break them. Depression, anxiety, stress, and grief are some very common qualities found in 3/4 of children. And this is because in this changing world with all the technology, parents don’t understand children at all. 

Respect of Indian Parents- ‘samaaj mai izzat‘

Parents connect certain things children do with their respect in the community. Society often interferes in everything of everyone, but most importantly, Indian Parents let them. Parents pressure their child to score good, not meet new people, if a girl, then not wear short clothes and go on dates etc. For Indian parents, it’s some kind of competition and the very dialogue after children get upset, “We’re just asking you to focus”. But the pressure created on children is unimaginable. Parents create stress and put up the burden for children to either be a doctor or an engineer. And under this requirement, when the child is not able to meet their parents’ expectations, then they’re restricted or punished rigorously. Children don’t even get to choose their career. 

Profession

“Ladka hua toh Engineer, Ladki hui toh Doctor”

This is the mentality in India concerning professions. Any other profession is like a category Indian parents don’t comprehend. Arts is so silly for Indian parents and say “Only foolish people relish that field”. Start-ups are just a misuse of time and money for Indians. Though children require more from their parents, parents don’t understand certain times. Parents don’t understand the ability of the child to opt for a particular profession, and even if they do, the demotivation never stops. Their “Sharma ji ka beta” always scores way better than their own child and is always superior in everything! 

Changing times- Modernisation 

For Indian parents, change only happens in foreign countries. Change is demanded in everything yet Indian parents believe that their rituals and their religions are being affected. They are more like radicals who don’t believe in change.  The older generation in India completely ignores and in some cases are against modernization. Young children try to change and become modern, but the parents! The most important thing needed right now is Equality.  Dating, relationship, and love is a curse in India, and if a child even tries, parents and the society prohibits it. Only marriage which is also arranged by parents is supported. Girls and boys are treated so differently. Unreasonably restrictions are applied

Demotivation

Parents don’t take your ambitions seriously. They demoralize a child’s concentration and ambitious mindset. For children, It is almost like they need support from the most important people in their life, and this is what they’re are getting in return. Instead, parents want their children to complete the dreams they weren’t able to do. It’s like the children have to achieve the goals and make their parents proud. But in this scenario, children aren’t happy at all. They don’t get to do what they want to because of their parents (exceptions sometimes). Parents should give their opinion to their child but not force the child to follow them. 

Parents have lived in a different era and children are living in a different era. It is difficult for both to adjust to each other. The only thing that can be suggested here that children should keep convincing their parents and the parents shall be open to the change. Children shouldn’t give in to the orthodox demands of their parents, you might be called a rebel or so, but ultimately you have to succeed in life and that can be done only if a balance is maintained. Family is the foundation and always your support system.

Thank you
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